The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals

Ooh

The greatest stories ever told

Have a hero who must be bold

They learn a sense of right and wrong

And better learn the sense through song

Musicals tell the impossible (The impossible)

They evoke the philosophical, ooh yeah

So tonight we're gonna chronicle

A story so astronomical

The last remaining story to tell

The guy who didn't like musicals

(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)

(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)

I mean what the fuck?

(Didn't like, did not like-a-like 'em)

He's the guy who didn't like musicals

(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)

(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)

Yeah, what the fuck?

(Didn't like, did not like like-a-like 'em)

In the tiny town of Hatchetfield

Lived an awful grinch named Paul

He spends his days surfing the web

And not singing and dancing with us all

Should we kill him? Should we kill him?

Oh, he pines after a cute little barista

Isn't that worth a show stopping fiesta, yeah

But for some damn reason

He won't join our singing season

What an ass

What a bitch

What a cock

The guy who didn't like musicals

(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)

(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)

I mean what the fuck?

(Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em)

He's the guy who didn't like musicals

(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)

Na, na, na, na, na...

Na, na, na, na, na, ah...

(Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em)

It's the end of the world, Paul (end of the world)

If you don't sing (if you don't sing)

This is the bridge, Paul (this is the bridge)

Where we globalize everything

And the words will come to you

We swear we will teach you

What it means to love

What it means to obey, Paul

The apotheosis is upon us

Yay!

Did you hear the word?

What's the word?

He's a coming

Who's a coming?

Paul's a comin'

Paul's a comin'?

The star of the show

Now for his headlining entrance

Time to swoon at his leading man essence

His name is in the title

He's destined to go viral

Here he is

His name is Paul

Enter now!

Where the fuck is he?

I have no fucking clue

The guy just doesn't like musicals

(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)

(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) Yeah

(Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em)

He's the guy who didn't like musicals

(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)

Na, na, na, na, na

Na, na, na, na, na, ah...

(Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) Ooh

And he definitely won't like me, yeah

(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)

(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)

(Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em)

He's the guy who didn't like musicals

(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)

Na, na, na, na, na

Na, na, na, na, na, ah...

(Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em)

Paul, you piece of shit