Changing My Major

What happened last night

Are you really here?

Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan

Hi Joan!

Don't wake up Joan

Oh my God last night

Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God,

Oh my God last night

I was so excited

I was too enthusiastic

Thank you for not laughing,

Well you laughed a little bit

At one point when I was touching you

And said I might lose consciousness

Which you said was adorable

And I just have to trust

That you don't think I'm an idiot

Or some kind of an animal

I never lost control due to overwhelming lust

But I must

Say that I'm

Changing my major to Joan

I'm changing my major to sex with Joan

I'm changing my major to sex with Joan

With a minor in kissing Joan

Foreign study to Joan's inner thighs

A seminar on Joan's ass in her Levi's

And Joan's crazy brown eyes

Joan I feel like Hercules

Oh God that sounds ridiculous

Just keep on sleeping through this

And I'll work on calming down

So by the time you've woken up

I'll be cool

I'll be collected

And I'll have found some dignity

But who needs dignity

'Cause this is so much better

I'm radiating happiness

Will you stay here with me

For the rest of the semester

We won't need any food

We'll live on sex alone

Sex with Joan

I am writing a thesis on Joan

It's a cutting edge field and my mind is blown

I would gladly stay up every night to hone

My compulsory skills with Joan

I will study my way down her spine

Familiarize myself with her well-made outline

While she researches mine

I don't know who I am

I've become someone new

Nothing I just did

Is anything I would do

Over night everything changed

I am not prepared

I'm dizzy, I'm nauseous, I'm shaky

I'm scared

Am I falling into nothingness

Or flying into something so sublime

I don't know

But I'm

Changing my major to Joan

I thought all my life I'd be all alone

But that was before I was lying prone

In this dorm room bed with Joan

Look she drooled on the pillow

So sweet

All sweaty and tangled up in my bed sheet

And my heart feels complete

Let's never leave this room

How 'bout we stay here to finals

I'll go to school forever

I'll take out a dementedly high huge interest loan

'Cause I'm changing my major

To Joan