The Worst Pies in London

Wait! What's yer rush? What's your hurry?

You gave me such a

Fright, I thought you was a ghost

Half a minute, can'tcher?

Sit! Sit ye down!

Sit!

All I meant is that I

Haven't seen a customer for weeks

Did you come here for a pie, sir?

Do forgive me if me head's a little vague

Ugh! What is that?

But you'd think we had the plague

From the way that people

Keep avoiding — no, you don't!

Heaven knows I try, sir — yeuch!

But there's no one comes in even to inhale

Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?

Mind you, I can't hardly blame them

These are probably the worst pies in London

I know why nobody cares to take them

I should know, I make them

But good? No

The worst pies in London

Even that's polite

The worst pies in London

If you doubt it, take a bite

Is that just disgusting?

You have to concede it

It's nothing but crusting

Here drink this, you'll need it

The worst pies in London

And no wonder with the price of meat

What it is

When you get it

Never

Thought I'd live to see the day

Men'd think it was a treat

Finding poor

Animals

Wot are dying in the street

Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop

Does a business but I've noticed something weird

Lately, all her neighbors' cats have disappeared

Have to hand it to her

What I calls

Enterprise

Popping pussies into pies

Wouldn't do in my shop

Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick

And I'm telling you them pussy cats is quick!

No denying times is hard, sir

Even harder than

The worst pies in London

Only lard and nothing more

Is that just revolting?

All greasy and gritty?

It looks like it's molting

And tastes like

Well, pitying

A woman alone

With limited wind

And the worst pies in London!

Ah, sir

Times is hard

Times is hard